I recently read this post about ladies' nights and how precious those moments can be. Moving around a lot has been both a blessing and a curse in my life. A blessing for obvious reasons--the ability to call a new locale "home", meeting new people and discovering your new favorite whatever. Yet, there are also the difficulties that come with changing scenery--the inability to become close to whoever you meet, feeling lost and at times, lonely. Throw in the challenge of being a mom who doesn't really enjoy mom groups* and it's another hurdle completely.
Maybe it's because I had some great girlfriends in Florida who also happened to have children around the same time as me that I placed an expectation here that it would be fairly easy to meet people like them. I felt (and sometimes still feel) pressure to meet other mothers but after reexamining why I felt this way, I decided to do away with the prerequisite must-have-kids. Who cares if I'm in the mom minority in a group of girls? I guess I always just felt that other moms would be more relatable and then I reminded myself that just because I'm a mother doesn't mean I lost my identity as the person I was before having a child. I still enjoy my independence and going out. I still believe in the power of a great circle of friends and how those friends turn into family. And I definitely don't want to limit myself because of a self-imposed restriction.
Then some rare gems appeared and before I knew it, we're sipping on fabulous cocktails, having oysters and exchanging stories and anecdotes about each other during a recently discovered "oyster happy hour" at one of the best restaurants in town which also happens to be less than ten minutes away from where I live. It doesn't matter if you're single, married or divorced. It doesn't matter if you're a mom, if you're not a mom, or if you never want to be a mom. The point is, none of that stuff is what defines friendships. It's about being surrounded by people who let me be my complete self around them. Those moments are what feel so familiar, even though sometimes, it could be just the beginning.
[*I don't hate mom groups; I just haven't found one that I really enjoyed being a part of since moving out of Florida. And that's ok! For those who have found their circles, good on you! They're just not for me.]