The holidays are always kind of a clusterf*ck. People run around like whirling dervishes, last minute shopping turns into a battlefield, and no amount of Christmas cookies and spiked punch can really ease the stresses that consequently come with "the most wonderful time of the year".
I experienced this a few days ago when I made a very meek attempt braving the crowds at the mall. Oof. I was so overwhelmed by the experience that I actually felt defeated and the gifts that I managed to purchase turned out to be extremely underwhelming. With Christmas less than a week away, I felt like I kind of let myself down. You see, in years past, my shopping was done by December 1st. Yeah, I was that girl. This year? Not so much. I don't know what happened--I usually make a list, check it twice, and find out who's naughty and nice. This year, Tanya Claus is not coming to town. Whoops.
Then I remembered something: I've been busy. I've been really busy. And I'm cutting myself some slack. This year, Christmas will be different. In some ways it will suck. But in so many other ways, it will be the beginning of new traditions, the start of something great, and I feel like this Christmas is my metaphorical reset button. It's Anaïs' first (!!!) Christmas, after all. While I always imagined her first Christmas to be an incredibly magical one littered with torn up wrapping paper that she finds more interesting than the actual gifts themselves, hot cocoa, and lots of lounging around in pajamas on Christmas morning, I'm not sure that that exact scenario will play out in reality. The reality is going to be better than that because she deserves better than that. I am taking her on an adventure. Our life together is always going to be an adventure and right now, I'm holding the map and plotting points, studying the compass, and getting ready to go go go! I can only hope that one day, she'll look back at photos and listen to stories about our first Christmas and think, "Yeah, my mom did it right." The world is literally our oyster. And from here on out, it's going to be nothing but the biggest adventure that we embark on together.